Uh, you may want to sit down for this.
I was on time for both of them.
Yes, I was on time for both of them. Me.
Considering this rationally, the only plausible explanation is that I’ve been replaced by some kind of duplicate, like a pod person.
Tonight, in rapid succession: Go to sleep first. [pause] Eleven Twenty-Two Nineteen Sixty-Three. [pause, then with gleeful delight:] Yay! Shave…
Around 5:00am I got up to run to the bathroom, and told plumtreeblossom where I was going. She woke up enough to say that she’d go after…
At 6:00am, before the alarm had gone off: “Wellp, I’ll just have to have this baby.”