Beowabbit (beowabbit) wrote,


BiCamp this year went from Thursday night, August 28, through Monday, September 1 — Labour Day, so it was a bit longer than usual.

docorion went up early in Mr Toad (the green diesel Mercedes) on Friday and set up our tents, bless his heart. sionnagh was very uncertain whether she was up for going, but decided at the last minute to go with me. We had a lovely drive, and she read me some Harry Potter in the car (we took the Toyota wagon, which I’m slowly thinking might need to be named after the Water Rat).

Around the time we got to camp, though, she started feeling down, and after not very long decided she didn’t want to stay — for a number of reasons, but among them was the fact that fibromyalgia and somewhat chilly camping don’t mix very well. So docorion drove her down to her mom’s house near Hartford (not all that far from where BiCamp was).

I was kind of down for the first part of camp. Partly that was because sionnagh wasn’t there, and out of concern for her (she was actually having a great time down in Connecticut, but since I had really lousy cell reception I didn’t know that), but also because I was feeling lonely in general, and being around all the couples and triples at BiCamp was reinforcing that. I was in the kind of headspace where I was craving company and social interaction, but was feeling too shaky and disconnected to seek it out. I did have a great time hanging out and catching up with beetiger, a good friend of mine from college whom I hadn’t seen in at least seven years.

Saturday was better. It started with zzbottom and Juzika-Mauserl’s famous blueberry pancakes (with blueberries I’d helped pick that morning when I bummed a ride in to town to replace the contents of my toiletries bag, which had managed to wend its way down to Connecticut with sionnagh). That can’t be bad. And it had cleared and was bright and sunny, and I went down to the clothing-optional swimming hole and had a nice time there, although the water was cold and I didn’t stay long.

Saturday night was the potluck, which was fun, and after that a little celebration with cake for [onemintjulep, who has since gotten a LiveJournal account], who is just finishing his residency and becoming a Real Doctor. It was loads of fun. He’s really good people, and I wish I saw him more often than once or twice a year.

After that, I tried to set up my telescope (on the lovely folding camp table sionnagh had given me for my birthday), but discovered that it was broken. Bummer! So I came and sat around the campfire with [onemintjulep], missdimple, volta, bitty, and a few other people. (I forget whether zzbottom was still up or not.)

Sunday (which arrived after not quite but almost enough sleep) was even better — bright, sunny, and warm. It started with yummy omelettes thanks to volta, and proceeded at the swimming hole. Since it was warmer, I spent more time in the water this time, and also spent a lot of time hanging out with beetiger on the rocks. (She was giving mothra some vitamin D. :-)

On the way back to camp from the swimming hole, I ran into K., a classical and opera composer from NYC, whom I had had quite a lot of fun with at BiCamp 2002, after a few years of us having our eyes on each other but not doing anything about it. She assured me between kisses that we would find some time that weekend to boff like bunnies, and secure in that happy knowledge I returned to camp.

It was considerably later that day before K. and I got our chance to get together and play, but when we did, it was wonderful — very good for me. You may not realize this, Dear Reader, since the sex I do have tends to be interesting, but I have very little sex in my life [beowabbit waves happily at the two people he had sex with most recently before BiCamp.], and over the past few years that’s increasingly been bothering me, both because I just want more sex in my life, and also because it whittles away at my self-esteem and sense of self-worth. The things I value most about myself are things about how I treat and interact with other people, and to feel like I’m not good enough at that (which is the lesson I take, perhaps irrationally, from so few people wanting to establish or maintain sexual relationships with me) is very hard.

So anyway, K. and I found each other and settled down in my tent for a lovely night of sex. We probably spent about three hours together, as night fell. And she’s just about the ideal person to heal some of that loneliness and bad feeling I was having. She’s very enthusiastic and appreciative and demonstrative. She’s physically very sensitive, so I need to be careful but I also get a lot of reaction and just about everything I do is appreciated. She really really likes sex, but she’s not so goal-oriented as to make me feel pressured (after the first time I came, I had a hard time staying hard, which meant we couldn’t do some things we wanted to do, and she was fine with that; we just did other things). And she’s generous with praise, and appreciates the things about me that I value in myself; she described me as easy to talk to and easy to be with. And we snuggled and chatted under the sleeping bag for a nice while afterwards. So it was a lovely night.

It had been fairly warm when we started, but by the time we were ready to leave the tent it had gotten quite cold, and it was a challenge to get out from under the sleeping bag to put our clothes on. But we managed. We wandered back over to a campfire for a bit, and then K. returned to the tent she was sharing with her sweetie A. (also up from New York City). I stayed up for quite a while, enjoying the afterglow and the warmth of the fire and the smell of the smoke and the bright stars and chatting, as people drifted off to bed from the campfire. Around two or so I went to bed myself, leaving bitty and volta as the last two people by the campfire. I later discovered that they stayed up all night talking, not wanting to leave the warmth of the fire.

The next day (Monday) we hung out and had breakfast and a plan arose to go hot tubbing at East Heaven in Northampton. We struck our tents and loaded up our cars and waited for the rest fo the campers to wander off. (Wayne the BiCamp god was coming with us tubbing, and he needed to inspect the campsite after everybody was done, so those of us who were going tubbing needed to wait for everybody else to leave.) We took off, in several cars (and in several directions, since some of us had various errands to run, planning to meet at a diner in Northampton.) docorion left a little early, taking K. and A. in to Northampton to catch a bus.

As I approached the main road, I ran across zzbottom’s and missdimple’s (two) cars, with a bunch of people standing around them. It turned out that zzbottom’s car had died. After some strategizing, Juzika-Mauserl and fallenpegasus, who had been in zzbottom’s car, piled into mine and we proceeded into Northampton looking for the diner while Mr. and Mrs. Dimple-Bottom waited for triple-A. The three of us got to the diner and ordered and were pretty much done with our meals before anybody else arrived. (I’d been concerned about Doc Orion taking so long; it turns out he’d swung by the diner, not noticed our car, and gone back to see if he could help the Dimple-Bottoms with anything.) The food at the diner was not so great, but it was a fun time. Then most of us went to East Heaven for tubbing while docorion went back to Connecticut to pick up sionnagh.

Tubbing was a truly lovely end to the weekend! East Heaven is a very nice place, and I left feeling delightfully relaxed. volta offered to take Juzika-Mauserl and fallenpegasus back to Boston, since I’d been really looking forward to the long drive alone to relax and reflect on the weekend, and was also mildly concerned about timing and logistics. And as the big group was all saying goodbye, I got a nice kiss from somebody who hadn’t kissed me in quite a while, which was very pleasant and a nice little symbolic cherry on top of the weekend.

The drive back was fine, quiet and relaxing, and I got home feeling wonderful.

Tags: allterrainbrain, bicamp, cars, diary, docorion, friends, important, me, my personal history, outdoors, sex, sionnagh, thoughts, travel, tribe

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